B for Bloody Hell Isn't This a Mess.

Bella: Can I just give you some details for this customer, I think he needs to have a chat with you lot really. Yeah, OK here you are then J for jumper R for roll over ****** and B, for bloody hell isn't this a mess.

....

My job can be pretty stressful, so to amuse myself and relieve some of the tension I decided that between the inbound enquiry phone calls I would check out Dictionary.com and have a play with the audio function for pronunciation, choosing words that I thought would best aleviate the stress. Lunatic was a particular favourite, but I soon found a better game. A colleague showed me how to use the microsoft word audio function so I began typing phrases and song lyrics, having a good giggle. The office is very noisy at times and my pc was hardly heard by anyone but my small team. We all chuckled at George Formby's When I'm Cleaning Windows etc. but then I decided to type in a line from Scarface and play that.

"Why don't you stick your head up your ass, see if it fits" Ctrl S

The office went silent just at the point I pressed S and the quote was heard by all *blush* including the centre manager.

Better than a Poke in the Eye with a Blunt Stick

Call to a client...

Manager: We've had the decision back and they're going to pay you, but it'll only be £28.07 me darling.

Silence while he listens.

Manager: (sympathetically) I know... but it's better than a poke in the eye with a blunt stick eh love? All right. OK. Tara love, bye.

Typical day in the Pain Factory.